Way back in 1987, Clive Barker directed Hellraiser, a film based on The Hellbound Heart, his own novella, in which a group of Cenobites (heavily disfigured demonic creatures too fond of pain to distinguish it from pleasure) appear after being summoned by a sadomasochistic criminal who has stolen a mysterious puzzle box. Whilst the adaptation was not particularly well received, most critics agreeing upon its extreme seriousness -considering that around that time audiences were becoming used to a bit goofier kind of evil with monsters like Freddy Krueger or the ones from the Evil Dead franchise-, it gained cult following thanks to plenty of elements like the use of gore to create a gruesome atmosphere but mainly, it transcended other -middle of the road- horror films of the age because of the character of Pinhead (Doug Bradley) and, of course, his motley crew of Cenobites. 

Only one year later the film was followed by a sequel, and then another, and another… and another. And another… until a final entry was released (or let go into the wilderness to die) in 2018, marking the tenth film of a franchise that run out of steam halfway through its second entry… not an issue for Hollywood, as they do not seem to understand Maths in the same way we do (their focus on the millions make them unable to keep count of small quantities, which is made evident when you see that from Hellraiser IV: Bloodline onwards, the rest of the films do not have a number on them – perhaps because executives struggle to use more than four fingers to keep track of numbers). 

When the Halloween saga was successfully brought back to life in 2018, a resurrection of the franchise was to be expected. Indeed, as it happened with that film, and with the new version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (now worse and without the The of the title), the new entry of the Hellraiser franchise will be a direct continuation/remake/reboot -from now on, dircontremoot– of the original 1987 film. And, as it happened with the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it is a pointless film that looks interesting, but ultimately fails to deliver.

But, before we get dragged into the negatives, it has to be said that Hellraiser did not appear like it was going to be a disappointment. Having David Bruckner (whose last film, The Night House, was a pretty decent horror film) as director is a good choice, and the film is well directed and will surely satisfy simultaneously the less hardcore horror fans, anyone not familiar with the franchise, and those who want to forget the previous entries. In addition, and most importantly, Jaime Clayton’s performance as an androgynous, freshly revamped Pinhead is probably the best thing of the whole film. Though not fully reaching Bradley’s level of intensity and solemn capacity to provoke fear, Clayton nails the role (lame pun, I know), not relying on what has been done in previous films, thus making the character her own.

Despite this (and considering that some crucial elements for a horror film are a memorable menace, a set of characters you can identify with, and a great dose of dread), Hellraiser wastes the chance of allowing us to spend more time with Pinhead and the Cenobites -fantastic name for a heavy metal band-, as they are not on screen enough to justify the existence of the film. It would be forgiven if we had had the chance to spend time with some well written characters, but they are as interesting and well drawn as a Turner painted by a toddler.

Unlikable, whiny, and too keen on making terrible life choices, the central characters will make us root for the Cenobites (especially considering their new designs are eye-catchingly terrifying), and I am sure they are so addicted to suffering they watch Freddy Got Fingered on a constant loop.

Although nobody watches a film like Hellraiser expecting a coming-of-age story, things would have been nice had the script updated its mythology a bit, or given us a bunch of intelligent, likable characters to identify with, root for, and then feel sorry -not sorry- when they get brutally killed, and not characters that you will surely hate and cannot wait for them to get the chop. 

On the contrary, the script (by Ben Collins and Luke Piotrowski, who also worked on the story with David S. Goyer) just over-explains the mythology, making us feel so bored that anybody will develop immunity to anything remotely scary. Furthermore, it incorporates a story about addiction, only to then drop it on the side, thus making it irrelevant. Perhaps, as a result of being under the umbrella of Mickey Mouse (it has premiered on Hulu, which is a branch of Disney), Hellraiser is too safe for a film in which the villains cannot separate pain from pleasure, as it does not risk having an extreme set of central characters who are drawn to pain, or suffering in any shape or form… or perhaps no, maybe that is not the case at all. Which might be worse.

Bruckner’s previous films (The Ritual and The Night House) were solid, tense horror films original enough to stand out. This one wastes Clayton’s turn as Pinhead -as well underuses the other Cenobites- but, more crucially, with its excessive seriousness, focus on mythology, and lack of originality (also a common problem of this new wave of dircontremoots, since they try to look fresh but do not go very far from the original, doing instead pretty much the same, but worse), it misses the opportunity to reinvent the saga and start anew, like Prey has done with the Predator franchise.

Obviously, this new Hellraiser was never going to be as bad as plenty of the entries in the franchise, but it never matches the level of the original, not giving us sufficient arguments to make us excited for a -possible- upcoming sequel. And, as you will feel so numb by the end, you will not feel neither pain, nor pleasure, just relief.