“Making a sequel to anything is just a cheap carny trick”.

This quote, which seems impossible to be uttered today, is attributed to none other than Steven Spielberg after Universal approached him to direct a sequel of Jaws. All of us know that, despite not having Spielberg directing the film, Jaws 2 was made, becoming for a while the highest grossing sequel of all time. A few years later we got Jaws 3-D, and then Jaws: The Revenge, ending the whole saga altogether… some might say because they had the audacity to make a film with a revenge plot without Liam Neeson playing the shark; others because no film ever managed to capture the essence of the first film and their quality was inferior in each of the sequels.

Nevertheless, it is curious to see Spielberg’s views on sequels, considering that years after Jaws 2 was released, he directed all the instalments of the Indiana Jones’ saga, as well as the sequel to his 1993 success Jurassic Park. I guess that time changes people, because what other reason could make a person change their mind?

Having collected insane amounts of money in the Box Office, and being -generally- well received by critics and fans, the first entry in the Jurassic Park (but also, I guess, Jurassic World) saga is what a blockbuster should be. It expanded what Spielberg had started way back in Jaws, as Jurassic Park provided both entertainment and thrills, never infantilising the audience as it used fantastic special effects -that still hold up today- to portray dinosaurs in a way that had never been seen before.

Everybody was expecting a sequel, and thus in 1997 The Lost World: Jurassic Park -horrible title if you ask me- premiered. However, The Lost World did not have the same reception the original film once had. Appearing to be a sequel made by someone who loved the first film and wanted to do a Spielberg film, it did little to expand on the first entry, providing only a few worthy moments in the third act as the T-Rex runs amok in San Diego – for example, the scene in which a man is about to enter a store as he tries to escape from the chaos, pushes the door instead of pulling it, and, subsequently, gets eaten by the dinosaur.

That man -credited as Unlucky Bastard- is David Koepp, co-writer of the first Jurassic Park and sole writer of The Lost World. His work adapting Michael Crichton (who also co-wrote the script of the first film) to the big screen is praiseworthy, making necessary tweaks to the novels that helped to shape the films we remember today, and, to top things up, his little cameo has one of the most significant deaths of the saga. Forget your lawyer in the toilet. Forget your poor Eddie getting viciously torn to shreds by two T-Rexes (Rex’s? Rexs? Rexeses?). Forget Zara getting an over-the-top and unnecessary death in Jurassic World, and also forget Peter Stormare’s encounter with the tiny weeny dinosaurs whose name I cannot be bothered to google. I shall call them Petitosaurus.

The Unlucky Bastard’s death is the most meaningful, as it represents the death of the writer. Trust me, I know where I am going with this.

Obviously, and despite having less success than the first Jurassic film, a further sequel was made, meaning that in 2001, Jurassic Park III was released. For the first time in the saga, the film was not directed by Spielberg, replaced by Joe Johnston (who did not try to emulate Spielberg, for better or worse -mostly for worse-). However, and perhaps most importantly, Jurassic Park III is the first film in which neither Crichton nor Koepp were involved in the script, and you can tell from the final result, since the film was a flimsy follow-up and a weak closure to the original saga, marking a low point… until the release of the latest trilogy, the Jurassic World trilogy.

Cue John Williams’ Jurassic Park theme!

Not having Koepp or Crichton (who passed away in 2008) in charge of the script, and also not having Spielberg behind the camera, meant that neither of the first two films of the Jurassic World saga came closer to match what had been achieved with the original film way back in 1993 (and to a lesser extent with its first sequel in 97). I am not saying, though, that the films -directed by Colin Trevorrow and J.A. Bayona- are terrible films that should be avoided at all costs. What I am trying to say is that these first two installments appear to be completely unrelated to the previous three (perhaps that is why they replaced the word Park for World), and whilst being different is not necessarily bad, it is not exactly good in here, as the first two films had more downs than ups and did not necessarily do much for the fans.

Despite the higgledy-piggledy approach of Jurassic World and of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom there was still a glimmer of hope in the horizon, and I am glad to say that Jurassic World: Dominion -again directed by Trevorrow- delivers on that promise. For about 18 minutes.

As soon as the film starts, we catch up to what is happening, through an exposition-based news show that gives us the latest on the tantalizing idea of having the dinosaurs rambling around our world. But then we are introduced to the greatest threat to the future of humanity (that is if you forget about viruses, global warming, and a war started by someone who actually does have a brain deep inside his butt): giant locusts. It is sad to see that now that dinosaurs have found themselves getting used to living free in the world, they are no longer our biggest danger, as that role is given to humongous locusts. I believe that dinosaurs -and not the platypus- must be the unluckiest of creatures.

It is a shame that the only thing that could actually -and probably still would- bring audiences to the cinema is tossed aside in such a way, especially considering that we had been teased on seeing dinos running amok in this film. But, things can always get worse, as despite being a film that travels more than an Instagram influencer (seriously, how do they manage to be constantly flying in those small private jets? I am asking for a friend), visiting exotic destinations such as Malta, Nevada, Texas, and Pennsylvania, we end up stuck in yet another generic tropical location in which a few dinosaurs do Rawr and Grrr, though we never feel neither excitement nor fear, since Jurassic World: Dominion appears to be made with the ferocity of a plastic dinosaur that you can buy in any store near you.

Nevertheless, I must admit that I paid my ticket just to see the original trio from Jurassic Park back on the screen again. Perhaps fighting some dinosaurs, and maybe, just maybe, even saying some good lines here and there. I was sensible enough to know that I was not going to get anything remotely close to what the first film delivered, yet sometimes a trip to the past is not such a bad thing… that is until you remember that if you need to look back might be because you are not a fan of your present. It has to be said that it is fun to see Neill, Dern and Goldblum reprising their roles, and actually having something to do in the plot -not like Goldblum’s appearance in Fallen Kingdom-. However, I think nobody asked to see them joining forces to uncover a sinister plot involving locusts, hatched by the evil Lewis Dodgson -played with a fun sense of self-awareness by Campbell Scott-.

I do not know why in a film about dinosaurs, which were brought back using DNA found in the blood of a mosquito trapped in amber, we are not talking about genetically modified mosquitoes, able to fly and destroy hot-air balloons, and relatively unpopular landmarks.

The fact that the original trio has been one of the best hooks to attract people to see the film, and the story does not know how to use them properly would be less damaging to the culmination of the sagas if the central characters of the modern trilogy -played by Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas-Howard and Isabella Sermon- were not busy in scenes that appear to be a rip-off of the Planet of the Apes franchise, and even -and most unnecessarily- the Jason Bourne saga.

Giving how convoluted the plot is, it is surprising to see that it is still generic, predictable and empty inside – just like the bucket of pop-corn I devoured to try and cheer me up as I watched the characters talking about giant locusts, or poor Omar Sy being left behind yet again (I personally do not know Mr. Sy, but monsieur, find a better role than this glorified cameo of a character that not many people might remember). Now that I think about it, I would have been happier if, instead, there were a couple of scenes of Judy Greer -who also was in the original Jurassic World– holidaying in Malta, only to find the dinosaurs escaping as she eats a gelato.

What once started as a high concept film has deviated so much from its course that its only concern is how big, cool, and sellable the dinosaurs are, not the strength of their bite. Back in Jurassic World, there were a few winks and nods to the commercial aspect of the dinosaurs – there was a sense of “Yes, we know you know that we want to sell you this, but hey, you are here, so… do you want a Marketisaurus, Selloutophus or perhaps a Nogoodscriptodon?”. However, whist that still continues in the background, this film also bets on the commodification of our nostalgia even more than before.

In a similar way as it has happened with the Star Wars franchise, this saga has been extended way too much not bringing enough good ideas to the table, thus stretching its initial premise too thin, By putting all those things together with their fondness for capitalizing on our nostalgia -but not using it the same way as it was done in Top Gun: Maverick– they have made us uninterested on what is to come. Many people might wonder where do we go from here. Nowhere would be my answer. I believe that all of the people involved in the making this film might take a cue from Mother Nature herself and see that if dinosaurs disappeared from the face of the earth, it might have been for a reason.

Cue John Williams’ Jurassic Park theme again!