Whether you like it or not, it is hard to deny that Stephen King’s work makes up for an endless source of material for films (and also TV shows) with examples like Carrie, The Shining, Misery, The Shawshank Redemption, Doctor Sleep, and The Green Mile to name only a few. However, the downside of the ridiculously high number of adaptations is that we can also have a higher chance of finding stinkers like Maximum Overdrive, Dreamcatcher, The Dark Tower, and Cell.

However, despite the fact that the latter films are far from being good, at the very least they manage to be entertainingly baffling and strangely hypnotic to watch – kind of like watching a small car full of clowns crash into another, smaller car filled with even more clowns. Considering this, it could be said that the worst sin when adapting King is not to make a lousy film, but a forgettable one, which segues easily to Firestarter.

Released on theatres and Peacock -NBC’s streaming service-, Keith Thomas’ Firestarter is the second time King’s novel has been adapted to the big screen -the first one being in 1984, starring Drew Barrymore, David Keith, Martin Sheen and George C. Scott-. Changes in the plot are minimal as we follow Charlie -played by Ryan Kiera Armstrong-, a girl with pyrokinesis (the capacity to set anything on fire, which is handy in case of a BBQ party, but annoying the rest of the time). As Charlie’s parents (Vicky and Andy -Sydney Lemmon and Zac Efron, respectively-) also have mental powers, the whole family is on the run from a mysterious and EVIL -in capital letters- organization who wants to capture her, quite possibly to do some secret experiments, most of which might be in relation to create super soldiers… or luxurious cigarette lighters for all I know.

We know how the story is going to develop, and perhaps even figure out the ending before reaching the 15-minute mark, feeling as if we are travelling through a road visited umpteenth times before (which is also helped by a familiar soundtrack by John Carpenter, Cody Carpenter and Daniel Davies). With the lackadaisical energy typical of an uninterested teenager in a boring Maths class, the script by Scott Teems -who recently ruined the path to redemption of the Halloween franchise with his script for Halloween Kills- gives the impression of being a lazy effort to keep the rights of the novel instead of an attempt to bring something new to the original story.  

The sense of apathy is not only limited to the script, though. Thomas’ direction feels perfunctory and unimaginative, as if Firestarter had originally started life like the extended pilot for an upcoming TV show (from NBC, I would imagine) which was then cancelled and thus, the material was re-edited into a 90-minute film to cover the network’s losses.

Whilst Armstrong delivers a somewhat decent performance as Charlie, Efron’s turgid turn (I neither confirm nor deny that it is a Botox-inspired pun) as her father is strangely flat and unremarkable for an actor with charisma to spare and who has evidenced before he can act. Having Efron play Charlie’s father is not a bad choice per se, but his consistently lethargic performance makes us immediately lose any connection we might have had initially, first to his character and then to the rest of the film.

Perhaps, if he had suddenly started to sing Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire, the film might have improved. I guess we will never know.   

A must-watch only for devoted fans of the King of Horror, Firestarter is a bland and missed opportunity to improve on an already run-of-the-mill film, a wasted chance to change and reinvigorate the story and bring it up to date. However, knowing that there will be more and more King adaptations, it is only a matter of time before the next, and hopefully, better one.