After one of those weeks which seem to be as endless as that visit from a relative who does not seem to understand you have a life and that they are not welcome anymore, I decided to get some mindless distraction in the shape of the awfully titled Venom: Let There Be Carnage -a title a tad superior to Venom 2, Electric Portaloo-. I remembered that the first film left me filled of mixed feelings, as despite the fact that it was not a good film, or what a fan of the character would have wanted, it was a couple of hours’ worth of mindless, self-consciously zany, accidentally funny -bordering on parody- entertainment.

Whilst being a film that failed to make justice to the character, Venom compensated it -and the fact that the action was neither violent, nor memorable and the general story was predictable and had the depth of a shallow pond-, by not feeling ashamed of being a bonkers, balls to the wall piece of entertainment. Nobody remembers how Venom got rid of the bad guy at the end, but talk to any person who had seen it and they will all remember the lobster scene and the female Venom.

The most memorable moments of Venom: Let There Be Carnage –directed by Andy Serkis, who is capable of doing things much much better than this- are the ones in which something happened and then something else. Also, there is a moment in which Venom did something that saved someone else. And, who can forget the moment in which Carnage did bad things to people? Carnage is bad and Venom is good. But, he is not that good… because he is not a hero, he is an antihero. Anti is bad, but he is not a villain, so he is good. See, conflict.  

Although, it does not look like it is going to be the case, there are many complex issues explored in the film, issues that surely will make you ask yourself endless questions, at least that is what happened to me. Here go some of the things that I wondered as I watched it.

Did anybody tell Naomie Harris that the film was another sequel of Pirates of the Caribbean? What is Stephen Graham doing here? Why is Reece Shearsmith playing a priest in only a couple of scenes? Why does Venom’s voice sometimes sound like Morgan Freeman trying to do the voiceover for a Dutch Transformer? How much does it cost the fantastic Sony Bravia that Eddie has in his bachelor pad? And his wonderfully rakish Ducati? Does Eddie have deaf neighbours? Why does Carnage end up going to a cathedral if he is affected by noise? Could not he have stopped Cletus or separated from him before? How can Eddie and Cletus keep the same physical shape no matter what Venom or Carnage eat? If Venom possesses anybody but he is still himself, why does he turn into a curvy female when he possesses Michelle Williams’ character? Was the script written by two kids in a trench coat?

There are countless other questions I kept asking myself. However, I decided to stop as I figured out that, like me, the film had none of the answers.

But let’s not get distracted by negativity, after all this is supposed to be a thrilling piece of entertainment that brings together two of the main characters of the Spider-Man universe: Venom and Carnage. One can expect to see impressively choreographed fight scenes in which the two characters struggle -in all their CGI glory- to become the strongest Symbiote, whatever that is. Had this film been 90 minutes of Venom and Carnage -played in his human shape by Woody Harrelson in his sleep, given his talent and the flimsy character he has been given to play- chasing each other, fighting themselves and their inner demons, it would have been much more enjoyable. But, in a strange way, that might have made it worse.

Given that this film does not follow the conventional pattern of superhero films, the decision to spend more time on the relationship between Brock and Venom is reflected on moments that might have worked in a 90’s Jim Carrey vehicle, as well as a glimmer of hope that there is some interest on seeing how Eddie’s life has changed since Venom’s appearance and his incapacity to move on. The problem is that those moments are few and far between and feel cliched. Therefore, when the time for the showdown arrives, it feels like the film is doing its due diligence, as it felt like a reprisal of the denouement of the previous film, replacing a rocket for a cathedral, which made me think that there is a joke somewhere with the words bell and end. Too bad my mind was saturated at this point.

By avoiding that self-conscious silliness and replacing it for some cohesion and restraint -only a little bit- Venom: Let There Be Carnage has become a more conventional film that seems to be either ashamed of being full-on bonkers or not interested at all, which leaves it in a middle ground that made me feel as if I had spent hours trapped in an elevator with a funny person trying to be serious, a person with no sense of humour telling unfunny jokes with strange voices, a spoiled child with ADHD and the greatest hits of Kevin Federline on repeat.  

All in all, the sequel, is a short film (another improvement from the original, as this one is only 84 minutes long) that has the same speed and cohesion as a compilation of TikTok videos in which people tumble down and fall flat on their faces. Surprisingly, Venom: Let There Be Carnage is not a good film, although it is a slight improvement from the first one in the sense that it juggles much more successfully the mix of zaniness, action and the duo of Eddie and Venom. It could be said that it is better than the first entry, much as it can be said that being cross-eyed is better than being blind.